In the first year, of knowing my beloved, I cooked for him many times, one of my favorite meals, vegetarian moussaka, Meditteranean oven dish made with eggplants, zucchini, tomato, and cheese sauce.
“Hmmm…. I thought to myself, “I spoil him with this home-cooked meal”.
A year later, I realized my beloved doesn’t like eggplant or anything in the oven with cheese sauce.
Oh, what I fool I felt. I made him MY favorite dish and he eats it to show love and solidarity. The poor man!
So what is the lesson behind this?
Lately, I realized that I was doing the same thing with my teen son. I was assuming that letting him do what he wants and not asking too many questions is showing him, love, like my beloved, does.
When I decided to listen to my own intuition and be less Dutch in my parenting and be more motherly like the women in my family, he was loving it.
I make his delicious snack, and sit on his bed, ask questions and listen to him…and I see him shine and feel that I am more interested in his ideas and views about life.
Yesterday I looked at him (he is now taller than me) and asked him somethings to better understand how I can really give him what he needs and wants. I was surprised but also relieved because it was not a mystery anymore to understand a teenager boy.
It is easy for us to give when we know what is needed.
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